Fatherless Child

I introduced myself to Robyn on Father’s Day….I am one of the world’s fatherless children….Robyn you do know me. I’m every little girl that cried and to the world it was for no reason when in fact I missed the hugs, the I love yous, the you’re special, the tea time. I’m all the little boys that join gangs because they’re told to… man up and not cry yet they have no one to compare manhood to, no daddy to play football, basketball or ask what’s going on when their bed is wet and they haven’t peed the bed in years. I’m the little girls that get lost in the streets to pimps. The boys that get lost to drug dealers. I’m the girls, boys, men and women that were molested and raped because my mother was doing more than her job and I had to be a latch key kid or a neighbor or family members responsibility or I grew up and didn’t know how to spot that man that would hurt me. I’m the stalking victim. I’m the little girl and boy that couldn’t have a birthday because my mother couldn’t afford it, alone.

The child that wore holes in their clothes to school, didn’t eat the night before, didn’t make it to school because my mother just didn’t have enough money that week. I’m the woman that gets beat because her daddy didn’t tell her she was worth more and didn’t deserve that from a man. The man that takes a beating from his woman because he understands her anger and fear and wants to love her despite her not knowing how to love him. I’m the woman that sold her body to feed her kids and then do drugs to cope. I’m the child that fails in school because mommy can’t afford to get me help or I’m so busy helping around the house I don’t have time to study. I’m the man/woman that have robbed, stole, hurt, and killed. I’m the jailbird, the lifer because my father wasn’t there to show me hard work, it’s value and rewards.

I’m the child that dropped out and picked the man that reflected the father that was supposed to be there for me. I’m the man that got that woman pregnant and walked away because my father didn’t show me there is a better way. I’m the woman that got so depressed, I gave up. I’m the woman that killed her kids because I was overwhelmed. The woman, the man that abused my children because I believed that when my father walked away it’s because I wasn’t worthy so now I stay, I stay and beat that frustration out on my kids. Me, Michelle, I am the woman that went through some of these things. Me, Michelle, I’m the woman that God saved from going through it all. Because of that moment in time, that one moment I continue to strive……..to all the men that have fathered children and haven’t been a father.