Weddings have a tremendous amount of baggage attached to them these days. There are traditions and etiquette to consider, and that’s before the expectations from popular culture, literature, and film. With all the advice coming in from every direction, you could be forgiven for giving into a little despair. How can you possibly plan your wedding the way you imagine it to be with so many rules to consider? We’re here to set you free from wedding-myth blues. Here are five rules of etiquette or pieces of advice that are nothing more than wedding myths.

Top 5 Myths About Weddings

1. If someone invited you to a wedding, you must invite them to yours.

There’s a sort of tunnel-vision that happens sometimes putting together a guest list. It can start to feel like a list of obligations instead of people you actually want at your wedding. But take a step back and consider: if everyone had to invite everyone who had invited them, at some point somebody’s wedding would fill a baseball stadium.

2. You have to have a bouquet toss, garter toss, daddy/daughter dance, white dress, etc. or it just isn’t a wedding…

It’s your wedding. You don’t have to include any tradition that makes you uncomfortable. As long as you sign a wedding license at the end, it was a real wedding.

3. Doing it yourself is always cheaper.

In the world of wedding blogs and endless pages of perfect weddings on Pinterest, it can seem like nobody ever hires a professional for invitations, decorations, or even reception catering. The truth is, though, unless you have access to all the supplies and expertise a professional has, going DIY can cost more than you expect. And don’t forget to value your time! And while we’re on the subject…

4. Friends and family is just as good as a professional.

Unless Aunt Gertie’s photography hobby is a lot more involved than most, odds are she doesn’t have the equipment and expertise to truly capture the ceremony. Wedding photographers spend thousands of dollars on equipment and have years of experience capturing those perfect moments. You may save money on Aunt Gertie, but you may not get the photos you were hoping for.

5. You have to spend X amount of dollars on your wedding.

This myth can get you both ways. On the one hand, you hear that the average wedding costs $20,000, and maybe you can cut it down to $15k or so if you’re really careful with your budget and choose less expensive favors like sparklers for weddings or something else that won’t cost a small fortune. On the other hand, you hear that no wedding should cost more than $5k, and you should be trying to cut down the budget as small as possible and save for the honeymoon, etc. In reality, every couple has to decide what’s worth splurging on and what they’d like to save on. There are so many factors that determine a wedding budget that it’s silly to say there’s some ideal budget for you.

Despite all the advice from friends, relatives, and wedding articles like this one, the ideal wedding for you is the one that you plan with your spouse-to-be. As long as your wedding reflects your personality as a couple, it’ll be the wedding it’s supposed to be.